Day Thirty-Two and Niagara

Where to start.. Well firstly, it feels like 'more has happened' in the last 2 days than over the past 5 weeks. Not with regards to therapy of course, which was the entire reason we were here, but to do with interesting things and touristy things.. now just to figure out where to begin with the story... the start right?

Thursday. Tova went to class in the morning. I did the final touches on packing, then worked, then paced the building feeling lost once I had turned off my computer at around 11am. I spent time talking to Tracy, the mum I developed a good relationship with over the past 5 weeks. She is amazing and actually, if it wasn't for her, not sure that I would have managed mentally for the 5 weeks. The other parents were all just as amazing, but Tracy and I seemed to make a different connection. Anyways.

One of the adults that had been doing the program when we first arrived at the camp came to pick me up with her husband. They live locally. We had to leave before graduation was over, so Tova missed out on the party and amazing looking cake. I feel quite sad about that, but we had to get a train.

I didn't think I would get all emotional, but actually, when I grabbed Tova to go I couldn't talk. I kinda just ran out the door not able to say anything much.. How embarrassing. I am such a wuss. Rude too, but I didn't mean to be rude, I just hate crying in public. AND I didn't even end up crying. I probably would have if I was with Yuval or other family, but I was with people I hardly know and so, did't cry.. .

We drove VERY SLOWLY to the train station. I felt very extremely grateful for the ride to the train station in Bellville, and sad that we missed the graduation knowing that we could have stayed at the camp longer and then just driven faster than 60/70kmp, and made it to the train at the same time.. but the people I got a life with are lovely and it is all good. I was feeling emotional and stressed about traveling so not really sure how to deal with all that.

So, Tova and I got on the train... It was a beautiful, comfortable train with free wifi. I think we were moved into first class because that is where assistance was to help us get on the train.. What ever it was, it was comfortable and fun, heaps of fun. Tova is a great travel buddy. I was scared traveling with her, alone, in a foreign country, but she took it all in her stride watching her ipad and looking out the window. I am so very proud of her.

Not much happened on the train. Just sitting and looking.

We got to Toronto. We found our bag and checked it in the bag place for the night. Then made our way with MUCH confusion and worse than Melbourne signage, to our next train. Train to Burlington. In the end we found it, got on it and sat again. Tova being perfect all the time.

I actually worked out that we got on the wrong train but to the same destination. So it didn't matter, it was actually good because we had enough time to meet the bus, which we probably would have missed otherwise. So that was clever.

When we got off the train at Burlington a lovely lady showed us where to go to find the bus and she gave us her cookies (which of course, being the germaphobe I am, we didn't eat, I am sure they were perfectly fine, but.. ).

We eventually got on the bus to Niagara Falls.

Again, Tova perfect....

Once we arrived a lady who had been on our bus and who lives in Niagara Falls drove us to our hotel. We hadn't spoken on the bus or anything, she just heard me ask how long it would take to walk to the hotel.. NICE!!! That walk would have taken forever!

At the amazing hotel I asked for the best room possible (we had already paid for our room).. I explained that we had been stuck in the middle of somewhere with no car learning to walk for the past 5 weeks and we really needed to have something special to remember from Canada, something touristy special.. He put us on the 40th floor with the most unbelievable view of the falls. I mean seriously, unbelievable.

We got settled in and went downstairs to eat. I ate almost a weeks worth of food. Tova ate too, and entire bowl of guacamole and some fish and mashed potatoes. We are pigs. By the time we got back upstairs it was about 10pm. I don't mind, we are about to have serious jet lag, so what difference does it make. 
So any fat I didn't put on over the past 5 weeks, I put on over the past 2 days, that is for sure. 
After dinner we looked out the window and Tova went to bed.. 
In the morning I woke up at something like 7.45. I was lying there for a while and then heard whimpering. OMG, I looked over and there was NO TOVA IN HER BED. I leaped up frantically, where the fruck could she be? I had put about 10 pillows around her bed on the floor in case she fell out during the night. But she wasn't on any of them. I started picking them all up like a mad woman. I found her, under a pillow and wedged under her bed. FUCCCCCCCCRRRKKK. I almost threw up. Not sure about anything. I don't know how long, I don't know, I just don't know. I wish I could was my eyes from the vision. I don't want to keep seeing it. I grabbed her, scooped her up in my arms and put her next to me in my bed. She was still all sleepy. She was fine. but omg, omg, omg. How revolting. 
We skypedYuvie. Tova was more interested in watching the wiggles so, see ya aba! Sorry! You aren't as cool as the wiggles this morning! 
I went and checked the fridge and freezer that had been delivered to my room last night. They guy came up last night with two fridges, turned one down to freezing and the other to normal. I asked him a bunch of times which one was which and he told me.. well dude. You were wrong. The growth Hormone and other meds all got frozen, while the ice packs all melted. I tried to google the dangers of using frozen growth hormone etc. Not much to find other than DO NOT FREEZE.. Stressful. 
We went for breakfast. It was a free buffet, GROSS. I hate buffet food.. disgusting. But I had to feed T. So I grabbed a heap of bananas and porridge. The staff were amazing and helped me. Tova must be quite obviously 'special needs' to the public, because no one questioned me about needing help. Interesting. So anyway. The staff were very helpful, even though they weren't supposed to do table service or anything, they did.. Tova didn't like the porridge and ate 3 bananas. I took the fruit with us when we left. 
Check out was at 12 so we slowly got ready while being very distracted by the view from our room. Last night when I first walked in I swore. I mean, wow, what a view. 
We wandered around the falls for a few hours before we had to go get the bus. We mostly just spent money on food and gifts for Nissim. Tova didn't like the soup I got her, so I got her a muffin. It is really very difficult to eat out with someone that doesn't chew. I have given up almost, and now just feed her cake. That tim/tom Horton place is great because they the muffins for 1.25 or what ever they are. Tova is pretty much living off them today and probably tomorrow. 
We got a taxi to the bus, got on the bus, got back on the train from Burlington to Toronto. Met a great guy on the bus, that helped us on and off the stupid train that had no ramp. Then he walked with us to get my bag, and then out to the street to find the bus to the airport. It was tricky as it had been moved and where it was moved to, had no sign. But we found it and he wandered off. Thanks nice man.  
We got on a small bus to meet the big bus to take us to the airport. A lady let me use her phone to ring the hotel to ask them to come pick Tova and I up. We arrived at the airport and a few moments later the shuttle arrived. We got to our hotel and they told us to go next door because we have been upgraded. Nice. 
WOW, what a room. This place is lovely. Nothing to see out the windows, but so nice in here. Clean and new and fresh. I am impressed, especially as if I remember correctly, I didn't pay much for this room when I booked online the another week. Probably less than $100. 
It must have been around 8pm by the time we go here. We went down the road for dinner. We went to an irish pub. Tova fell in love with the Chinese, Canadian Musician playing his guitar and signing bob Marley songs. We ordered food and took it back to our hotel. I ate most of it, she ate some. 
She is now sleeping on a mattress on the floor thank you very much. I said to her she is welcome to fall off this one! Which she is currently almost doing. She is such a mover in her sleep, which is why I hate sleeping with her so much.

So that is that. We have met some amazing people over the past 2 days. Lots of people want to help us, no one has been scary, and we have had fun. Tova has been very tolerant the entire time. Thank goodness for the ipad.

This is our last night in Canada. Strange. wow, I am going to fall into Yuval's arms (after Tova of course, so perhaps in a few days, when they let each other go) and I am going to let my little precious most wonderful son in the universe fall into mine while I present him with his many gifts.

HOME TOMORROW, sort of.. we have to fly for 30 or so hours first, but HOME! I am looking forward to getting Tova moving using her canes and making her walk using her walking frame everywhere, even in the house. That is going to be reinforced, If she wants to get somewhere, she must walk!

Eating next, we will get her self feeding, then move onto solids, omg, and one day i can just hand her a sandwich and say, 'there ya go'. I can only imagine how easy life would be without worrying about having puree something all the time.

right.. photos. I might do them when I get home. Too tired right now.

Tova Touching the Waterfall
Niagara Falls Canada - USA View

Day Thirty-One

NO MORE HYPERBARICS! That is a nice feeling. Bitter sweet actually.

Sad because it is possibly doing Tova a world of Stem Cell good, and good because it is so very boring and tedious being locked in a little chamber with 3 other adults and 3 other children. That is  lots of people for such a small space.

Tova had her little video session today. I wasn't allowed in, so Yuval and I can watch it together once we figure out how to watch an American dvd on an Australian player. Perhaps we will never get to see it.

The interview bit was me talking to one of the therapists. We talked about Tova and her progress. She asked if I would come back. I said yes, but I would prefer my husband to come back instead, as long as the returned him. I remember Austria wanted to keep him because he is so fantastic with kids and people generally. I MISS MY FAMILY.

Another beautiful thunder storm tonight. Again, short but amazing.

Tomorrow Tova has class and then we are catching a train outta here.

Day Thirty

Only 2 more hyperbaric sessions to go. Tomorrow there are two. There isn't class tomorrow for Tova. There is a video and interview or something.

Today was fine. All the parents attended the class today (well all except two mums that left for the day to get tattoos while their hubbies sat in the room with the rest of us.. clever mums).We were on one side of the room, on very uncomfortable stools watching the kids have their day of therapy. It  was cute and fun to watch  most of the time. I did have to fight falling asleep standing up at one stage (we didn't only sit there, we also did work with the kids). Tova had woken up at about 4am this morning and I am really tired.

In the class today Tova took about 40 steps with the canes, she only did her fake falling a couple of times. She is VERY wobbly, but wow, she is improving already so much. Amazing to see. I had tears in my eyes. I know that it isn't 'walking' but it is closer. I have chosen to celebrate her wobbles, because before we got here, there was no way in the entire universe that she could do this. The therapists say that the only thing holding Tova back is her attitude. We will work on that. She's a clown.

After lunch was the chamber. I fell asleep in there. I had no choice, I just couldn't keep my eyes open. Tova let me mostly. It is kind of magnificent falling asleep in there as time passes so fast. I could have happily stayed in there for a few hours, sleeping.

Tova and I have completely run out of food. Well, we have oats, avocados and bananas.. We are leaving on Thursday, so hopefully there is food on the train to Toronto. Or we will be living off oats all Wednesday and Thursday.

I am so very much looking forward to SHOPS, being able to go buy milk when I need it. This has been a horrible experience living with no car and no public transport and no way to get anywhere. I am sure no one can live like this. It is HORRIBLE.

There have been a few thunder storms here for the past few nights. Really beautiful, very quick and very loud. The days have mostly been quite warm and sunny, which is nice considering we are going home to winter. Not that Tova and I have actually be outside for however many days. We did go outside today to pick Lilacs.

Wow, 30 days of therapy done and dusted. We most certainly have a changed Tova and motivation and tools to go home with. This was the right thing to do. I think Tova's life will change from now onwards..

Day Twenty-Nine

The last week!!!!

Things I am looking forward to the most are being able to go to the shops, not depending on others, having personal space, doing laundry every day, cleanliness, easy to use kitchen, the boys!

Tova woke up really sad this morning. She was in a deep sleep so I asked Yuval on Skype to wake her up. She was so fast asleep. I patted her to wake her a bit and after a few minutes she just cried and cried. So unusual. Yuval and I were worried. Poor tinky. Well anyway, it seems that it was just a waking up from a deep sleep thing as after about 10 minutes she was laughing at Yuval and ready to go have breakfast.

Off to class today. Today is the last proper day of class. Tomorrow the parents are in the room all day and Wednesday I think each child and parents go in the room separately for some amount of time. There are also two hyperbaric sessions that day. Thursday is graduation. Friday they have a short day, but actually we are all leaving on Thursday. So the staff will get a long weekend before the next group start. I assume there are people starting next week. Not sure.

Body attack again this morning. It feels great to at least move once a day. No more outside for me nor walking/jogging to that lake. Too boring. Too many flies. It was so fascinating for the first couple of weeks. Now not so much.

Day Twenty-Seven

We did our first Hyerbaric session this morning at 9am. Then Tova and I went to our room. I did BodyAttack and she watched the wiggles. I was jumping around next to her for 55 mins and I think she only looked at me out of the corner of her eye twice. She a good girl. She watched the wiggles standing leaning on her bed. She has been doing quite a bit of that standing leaning stuff.

Lunch and then the next hyperbaric session.
Boring and frustrating. If only I could have the ipad or Tova's shows on every time, it would go so fast. No one likes it in there.

After that session I gave Tova a muffin.. since we have so many.

The we went to the therapy room to have a practice with the canes. Tova is so difficult. She just won't do it. She does the pretend fall thing laughing and lays on the ground saying no.. Very frustrating. Even bribing with singing didn't help. I remained patient and eventually got her to take a few steps. I have never seen her so stubborn, it is great but frustrating.

This afternoon I offered to take her out the back to the playground. She cried and said no every time. Eventually I took her anyway. we were out there for about 15 mins then back inside. Tova was pretty much a sad sack for the rest of the evening. Even not wanting to talk on skype ot the boys.

I just hope so much that she isn't getting sick.. well I don't mind if she gets a little bit sick, but not hospital sick. Not sure that I would cope.

She took ages to go to sleep, it was about 9pm when she finally fell asleep. Her breathing seems fine.. I am a bit scared.. hopefully for nothing.

One week to go! I have another week to eat and eat and eat.. which is all I am doing here at the moment. Good thing I don't have car or I would be at the junk food store every day..

So.. here is hoping for a very boring night and rest of our stay here in Canada..

Day Twenty-Six

$6 for 6 muffins and a coffee.. madness.. great madness... What is that at home? About $20!!!

what $6 can get you in canada
$6 goes much further in Canada

Day Twenty-Five

One week to go. It has gone way too quickly.

So, I just had the individual session with Tova in the class room today. I was expecting more of the same big fail and cheekyness. Even though the therapists assure me that they have seen Tova walk a few steps independently with the canes.. I have never really 'believed' them.

WELL! oh my goodness, I mean seriously, what the f### just happened? Tova the incredible! I can not believe my eyes, she took about 4 very wobbly but completely independent (meaning without an adult holding the stick nor holding her) STEPS using the CANES! UnflippingReal!

We have always known she would do it 'ONE DAY', but it just goes to show that practice, practice, practice and tada!!! She is absolutely terrible at it and can't be left alone with the canes as she will just fall.. But I can see it won't be long, with lots of practice, she will be walking with canes and not the walking frame in not time! THEN walking with NOTHING! Tova is amazing.

She looks so pretty today, she has Yuval's eyes and they are sparkling.

Maybe I will make her cake as a reward (or punishment as there is only white peroxide flour here and I have no way to get to the store to buy real flour).

Day Twenty-Four

Tova had her quick Chiropractor session today. She is such a good girl. She loves watching the other kids get their chiro stuff done too, she laughs and points and basically just acts delighted.

Today went super fast again. I did body attack in the morning. There is only just enough space in my room for it. It is fun.

While Tova was in her session I worked and watched the squirrels outside my window, they are so tiny and cute, not to mention fast. After hyperbarics Tova asked to ride the bike through the building and outside where she watched the squirrels too. I love that she loves animals.

Tova was a bit sad when she woke up, until she skyped aba (Dad/Yuval), that made her happy.

She isn't impressed that I'm not letting her crawl nor be carried anywhere. She complains about it but I try and make walking in the frame fun for her by telling her to run and how great she is.. She likes that stuff.

The chamber was long and boring today.. not really terribly different to any other day. Tova loves the owner Kevin and talks to him etc.. cute..

There was a thunder storm this morning that was beautiful. I have never heard thunder like that before, there was no break, it was continuous. Lovely to be next to Lake Ontario in the middle of nowhere listening to the storm pass by. Once it passed the sun came out and the day was actually really warm.

Tomorrow I have my individual session with Tova again at 11.30am. I wonder how much she will play up for me this time..

Storm near lake ontario
Picton Storm

Day Twenty-Three

Today was a good day. It went very fast. I had my session with Tova today in the class room. She did what I said mostly, she took ages to listen to me and wanted to do her own thing, but I was strong and just kept making her start again and do what she was supposed to.

Again, the therapists told me that Tova can walk unaided, she just needs to do it. .. Yuval and I need to keep practicing with her.

We didn't go outside today, however the sun seems to have appeared.. It is warmer tonight than it was last night.

I did body attack in the morning. I even found on youtube one track with my instructor from home, steph.. so that was nice.. familiar.

it is frightening to think that we are almost done here. It is bitter sweet. I feel we could get more out of it if we stayed longer. So, perhaps we will come back.. We shall see what we can find at home like this.

I have spent the day making Tova walk in the walking frame everywhere we need to go. She doesn't like it. She wants to crawl or be carried. I just said a heap of no. She has to practice and understand that she has to walk to get where she wants to go.

The chamber was as boring as ever, but time didn't go too slow. We did drawings and made a birthday card for a mum who's birthday is today. There has been no horrible hockey nor wiggles for ages, which is fantastic. BUT Tova isn't interested in anything that has been put on, so it has been 1.5 hours of writing letters and numbers and words and pictures etc..

Tova doesn't even ask for books before bed now, we are both so sick of the books we have with us that we just can't bring ourselves to read them. No complaints from me.

Other than that, I just spend my time working and eating. Tova has been learning and hopefully developing.

Day Twenty-Two

Week four already. I feel relief and sad about this. I would love for Tova to stay here for another 5 weeks of this program as I can see it would be very beneficial. But I am also happy that we get to leave in 2 weeks. I am so looking forward to Niagara.

This morning I found BODY ATTACK online, on youtube... it feels great to have done something normal. It was fun jumping around in my room. So I will probably do that each day now, so that my spirits are lifted a bit.

Tova is in class, probably having heaps of fun.

I've run out of nappies, which sucks as now I have to beg someone to take me to town.. *sigh*. I think I have 2 nappies and a couple of those trainer pull ups, which aren't good, but it should last me till tomorrow. I know I said I can handle not having a car, and I can, but I fell so annoying asking for a lift to town all the time. And then people feel bad if they say no because they aren't going today. It is all a bit awkward.
There are two mums here that take me to town and they are both absolutely lovely. One of them is having a birthday tomorrow, so hopefully I get to buy her a coffee or something.. yet again, if SHE drives ME! haha.

Time to work now. Tova is in class until about 12.45, then lunch then a small break then hyperbaric.

If I didn't have work to do I would go out of my mind.

I'm spending the rest of the day in pjs as what is the point in getting dressed exactly! I don't think the bears and coyotes mind what I am wearing.

....... It is a bit later in the evening now. Tova and I ended up having a pretty good day. After the hyperbarics we were walking back to our room and one of the mums came up to us and said "so, you wanna go to town?". She had been waiting for us to finish in the chamber so she could take us (she doesn't do hyperbarics). So about 30 seconds later Tova and I were ready to go. This was the first time Tova has left the camp since we got here. She loved it.
At first she was a bit scared in the car, but after a minute realised it was fun and got happy. Tova and I spent about an hour walking around the main street and then went to get Nappies. We ended up buy a heap of stuff and went to that tim coffee place to get a muffin and coffee. It came to a total of $2.75. Crazy. I wonder why it is so cheap.

After dinner and a bath we skyped the boys. Tova almost jumped out of her skin with happiness. The boys are a bit grumpy and tired, but we didn't care, we were just happy to see them.

We are both happy. Today has been a good day.

Body Attack on Youtube
Les Mills Body Attack

Day Twenty-One

Mothers day! Happy Mothers day to me and my mum.

Today was no different to any other weekend day here. I watched cars come and go. One car was full of one family, so no room for Tova and I to get a lift. The other mum who went to town doesn't do hyperbarics, so she goes when we are in the session. Bummer.

I could get a hire car, but really, I don't see the point. All I would do is spend heaps of money and time driving to town and back which means Tova would be stuck in the car seat, we would walk around town, with Tova in the pram and then go back. I may as well put Tova in the pram here, go for a walk up and down the very boring roads here and save time and money. Tova doesn't mind. So, I am going to change my mind set and be at peace with being almost completely stuck here while watching other families have freedom and fun.
We are here for one reason.. Tova.

Tova had a reasonable day. Lots of movies, two hyperbarics and a walk up to the winery and back. It was closed.
I thought maybe it would be open for mothers day and Tova and I could sit down in there.. but nope.
It is probably a good thing as I don't think they serve anything other than wine.

Tomorrow is therapy again. I hope Tova makes some massive gains.

Now I am just 'living' for Niagara Falls. Tova and I will go there for one of our last nights. We have booked a spectacular room overlooking the water falls, at least I hope it is spectacular.

I wonder what Tova will think about Niagara. I want to get T-shirts that say Niagara. I also am completely in love with the Canadian flag, I love the red, one of the grandmothers here got some socks with the flag, they are so cool. I will go on a mission to get some too.

The adult 'patient' and her mum went today. They were doing a 3 week program. It is different without them. I miss them actually, they were also trapped like me and it was nice to feel so not alone and to not be the only needy one here. Now it is just me needing a lift to get shopping and freedom.

That's it. I am looking forward to Tova having fun tomorrow. She loves therapy. Lucky.

Day Twenty

Little Tova slept in this morning, till about 8.55. Hyperbaric is at 9am so I figured she could eat breakfast in there while the hoods are off at the beginning. But the session was running late so Tova actually got to eat her breakfast first. Then right away into the tank. Tova was happy and bright as she usually is in the mornings. We did drawings and numbers and letters. There was a movie on in the background that no one watched. But at least it wasn't horrible music.

The time went pretty quickly actually.

Then we had a snack, attempted to do some of the therapy and rode the trike around the hallway. Back to the chamber at 12ish. Someone requested sesame street, which was a good idea. Tova just wanted me to draw and so forth which I did for a while but then gave up and lay down. She actually let me and she watched Sesame street for a while. Good girl.

After that Tova had a late lunch and now we are just doing nothing. There isn't anything to do inside nor outside, so she is watching the wiggles. I might take her outside in a min as it is a bit sickening to be inside for the entire day doing so very little. I wish I had a car, I would have gone straight into the town and wandered around with tova, gone to a cafe and wandered more, there is a library too, we would have gone there, if it was open. But nope, we are completely trapped in this place.

It is cold and raining mostly today too. Although some sun just shone through onto my desk. It must be outside time..

Tova is still in her pjs and it is something like 4pm.

I got a bit sad with Tova today, we went to the therapy room and I wanted her to practice walking with the canes. She has a game with them where she throws one to the floor and laughs, then pretend falls to the ground laughing too. It makes me sad as it is such a waste of time. The therapists said she would be walking if she could just practice more. I don't have the patience nor time for her cheeky behaviour.
And she is so cute when she does all this that I have to try so hard not to laugh. But actually today it made me quite sad at her.


Day Nineteen

What? How on earth is it Friday already again? Wow, time goes so fast here, even when we aren't having any fun. Amazing.

Two more weeks to go. Come on Tova, start walking!

Tova is happy, I am much happier. I do still feel trapped, but, so what. We aren't here for me.

Tova doesn't like going to the Hyperbaric chamber, when we are leaving our room she starts saying 'Finished'. But, she is a good girl in there. We draw, and write numbers and letters. We haven't had to watch the Wiggles nor Hockey for a few days now, which is a relief.

I was looking through old emails about hyperbarics in Australia. For 40 hours it would be $7000. 40 hours here at Ability Camp is usually $3,800, there was a special on for this month, so we are paying even less. So it is actually cheaper to fly to Canada and do 40 hours here than to do it at home.

Today when we all went into feed the children lunch, the therapists said to leave the food outside and come in first. When we went in the kids were all sitting around the table with mothers day cards and a plant for each parent. How lovely. The therapists here are really lovely. I had tears in my eyes and couldn't read the card properly in case I cried in front of everyone, because I am a wuss.

Another lovely thing about the therapists here is that they all seem to really genuinely love the kids. They walk past them and kiss the tops of their heads and always are compassionate and caring. It is really nice to see people love their jobs so much. Great people!

I wonder how my little man is going at home, it is Saturday morning for them, he will be going to shull with Savta Viva. Yuval and Nisism slept at Yuvies mum's last night. Cute. I have been picturing them sleeping in the bed together all day as it is their all night..

So, it is the weekend again tomorrow. gawd.. what to do between hyperbarics.... hmmm. The weather has been miserable today, raining and freezing. I hope the weekend is better. I guess we will bike ride as there isn't anything else to do with no car and no way to get anywhere.

Day Eighteen

Still feeling crappy. Everything is making me mad. Someone turned the fridge to warm, so everything in there is pretty much ruined. I don't actually have any food really, so I don't' care about that, but I do have all Tova's growth hormone in there.. I do care about that. Not sure why someone would change the setting on the fridge. So inconsiderate.

On a happy note. One of the mums (the one that hugged me  yesterday) took me into town first thing this morning we were there at about 9 am and got back about 11.30am. So that was good. I walked up and down the main street. It is very much like Mullumbimby or Dalesford.. Not much there, but enough. The health food store had coconut  yogurt, so I got that for Tova. She is going to be so happy!

I got food, shampoo and everything in between. I feel better now. We had nothing, and no car to get anything. I gave the mum some money for petrol, which made me feel better about wasting her morning. I now have a massive bunch of grapes next to me for snacking.. yum..

I went to the op shop and got 5 VHS movies for the chamber. Mostly they are nursery rhymes. One of the other girls here loves nursery rhymes, so hopefully it will make her happy.   I also got textas and a little whiteboard for Tova to draw on in there. And some stickers.

Because I was in town, I missed the Tova/ima time in the class today.. thank goodness. I hate it. I really needed the time out, a mental health day. I am feeling better than I was yesterday and now I have comfort food to help me out too!

kwalker and Tova
Tova Kay Walker

Day Seventeen

I am absolutely, completely and utterly home sick today! What a sad sack I am.. Hiding in my room 'working' listening VERY LOUDLY (on headphones) to skrillex.. Thinking about having a car (freedom) and husband and son.

There are quite a few small things here that just make it that much harder to cope. For example, we the families staying here have to take the rubbish out every evening, even though there is a cleaner (a big strong dude) here every day. We also have to PAY to do our laundry and even take it in turns to wash the tea towels etc.. Just little things, but crazy things. Ok, so we have to wash our own bedding while we are here, but I have heard that we also have to wash them before we leave.. Not sure how that can happen if I am leaving early in the morning..

We are very far from any shops and I need everything. Food, toys, shampoo etc.. I hate relying on other people, I don't like letting people down and I don't like to make people feel like they are obligated to help me out. But, but. I need help to get to the shops. I suppose I could take a taxi. Stupid cars.. stupid money.

I wonder how Tova is feeling. I know that when she sees Yuval on the ipad most mornings she almost jumps out of her skin with excitement. I hope she is happy. My little princess.

I also know that homesickness passes quite quickly.. So I am happy about that.

Tova better start walking, talking or anything from being here so far from home, far from anything normal.

Apparently CPEC has Conductive therapy programs too. So I will investigate that when I get back. They have never been any good at getting back to me or being helpful. I have been trying to get Tova into CPEC since she was about 1.5 years old. They never reply to mail, phone calls and don't get back to me nor have time for me when I go in there in person. So that is annoying me thinking about that today too. I wonder how far along Tova would be with her walking if she had attended CPEC years ago. It really bugs me to think all they had to do was answer me or give me 5 mins of their time at some stage.

And I am so sick of cooking crap food. And eating crap food. It is hard to get it together here with wabbly broken and old pots and pans in an old shared kitchen.

I did get a hug from another mum today, she could see I was stressed.

Shite happens.

BUT I am pretty sure that the point of being here.. Tova.... is working and worth it. I think she is getting stronger. So, I can handle anything for her. 

End rant. 

Tova Cubby House

Day Sixteen

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I go into Tova's class room for an amount of time that feels like an eternity, it may be an hour. I get to do some of the therapy with Tova so I know what is going on. Tova just plays up for me. She is cheeky. She tries to do things like pretend fall and climb over ropes when she is supposed to walk between them etc.. she has a good laugh and gets in trouble with the therapists.

I went for a jog this morning down to the lake and back. That is it for my exercise. My clothes are shrinking.. oh well. It is really hard to eat well and exercise here, in the middle of no where with no car and no husband/son. I'm so over food and I am so over being over food! There is nothing else to do here. I have to go to town soon and get some carrots or something healthy to snack on..

I have managed to get Tova to sleep by 8pm tonight. I started at 6.30. So, that is good!

She is on her third night of the big girl bed... we will have to get her a big girl bed when we get back. She is ready. She doesn't even get out of the bed when I leave the room for an hour and come back to check.

The chamber was ok today, we all talked about those poor girls that were found this morning after 10 years of being kidnapped.. and we had fantasia on in the background. Tova and I did drawings.

Tova and her little friends played on the play equipment for a bit after the hyperbaric chamber. We couldn't stay out for too long as the sun was beaming and no one wanted to get burned.

The weather is spectacular.. The people are lovely..

Tova swing
Tova on Swing Canada

Day Fifteen

Yay for Monday and therapy..

I'm not sure why they run late, but they were 15 mins late to start today. That is a bit frustrating as I have so much work to do.

Today is another spectacularly beautiful day with the sun shining and blue sky making everyone feel happy.

It seems that Tova had a good day. One of the therapists said to me today that Tova should be walking with the sticks, she just has to practice and get used to using them, but once she gets the hang of how they work, there is no reason why she wouldn't use them. Yay for that! Crazy. It would be amazing if she would walk with the stick things. The walking frame is great too, but sticks!!

The hyperbaric chamber is really, really boring. Tova doesn't like it at all. She wouldn't mind if she could suck her thumb for the entire time, but she can't because of the hood. We 'watched' peter pan today, a much better sound track to have in the background. I am going to try and get to town to buy some textas and paper for her. Apparently there is a $1 shop, I will go there and get some supplies.

Tova has grabbed the spoon from my hand a few times, to feed herself. She is VERY good at it! I can see a light.. sort of.. almost.. at the end of the tunnel. I can imagine a walking & self feeding Tova.

A tiny squirrel played in the lawn and tree outside my window this morning that was nice. I haven't really seen much if any wild life here, which is strange because we are in the 'bush'.

Well, I am so happy to be in the sunshine and that my long cold Australian winter will now be a touch shorter as I am missing a bit of it.

I have booked a train to Niagara Falls and hotel over looking the waterfall for one of our last days. Fun.. hopefully.

Oh and Tova slept in her big girl bed all night and was still asleep when I got up at 7am. Probably because she went to sleep after 9pm.

Freddy Kruger School bus
Yellow american school bus

Day Fourteen

Sunday... The end of week two... The dates on my blog aren't correct exactly because I haven't changed the time zone on my computer, so it thinks it is Monday, because it actually is in Australia.

Tova slept in a bit, I think because she didn't sleep so well in that portacot. Tonight I am going to try her in the single bed and see what happens. I have a bed rail on the side. I just hope she doesn't climb over it and fall even further. I think she will be more comfortable in the bed. It is bigger and softer. It will also be vaguely cute if she climbs into my bed in the morning without me having to get up to get her.

Apparently Nissim is missing Tova and I. I get lovely emails from my amazing husband. The one I read this morning told me that Nissim is having a hard time at the moment, emotional... my poor little boy. I miss him. I often imagine him here and how helpful and fun he would be, but also how bored he would get.

After the first Hyperbaric session this morning Tova and I went for a bike ride. We did a big blocky (Tasmanian word for driving around the block). It took us about an hour. We got lost a couple of times and had to stop at farms to ask for directions. I also kept getting confused about which side of the road to ride on. ALSO, I got some colour, not burn.. It is an absolutely beautifully stunning day. I am even in shorts! I love summer weather! It is sad to imagine that I will be going home to winter weather.

I'm not sure about what to do with the rest of today. Some of the other mummas set up a kiddie pool for the kids to play in. So, perhaps Tova will join them in there at some stage.

The hyperbaric chamber is driving us all a little insane. Tova most certainly doesn't like watching Hockey (she was interested yesterday, but not today). The music is just terrible on the dvd too, and so loud. And the wiggles, omg, I just can't handle watching that for even one more second. So for the second session we watched Grease. The kids didn't like it. But I found that the time went a little faster for me. Poor kids, it really is boring in there. I have read Tova every book we have with us about 20 times.. I also just can't read another 'In The Night Garden' book, like ever!

The next time we go into town I will go back to the op shop and see what else there is to watch. Or even try and find a store that sells dvds. I wish our Australian DVD's would play here on their DVD player.

So, Tova is dancing to some different wiggles music on my bed. I am taking some time out, then dinner, bath, books, bed. Thank goodness it is Monday tomorrow so Tova has something to do for most of the day. I am so boring as I have so much work to do. 


It is about 9pm now. Tova finally asleep in her big girl bed. I hope she stays in there tonight. I put her in there at bed time and checked on her every now and then. She stayed in the bed the entire time (as far as I am aware). So that is a good start.

Tova Big Girl Bed
Tired Tova in a big girl bed

Day Thirteen

Saturday. Nothing much day. Two Hyperbaric sessions. First one we watched hockey. Tova liked it and watch it almost the entire time. I didn't watch but suffered through the terrible music.. mostly because of the audio/speakers in there are not fantastic. The second session I suffered through the same wiggles episode. Gawd. Tova loved the wiggles.

I worked most of the day letting Tova watch a heap too much tv and ipad. We went for a bike ride and played out side on the swings n stuff to break it up a bit through out the day. And it is a beautiful day. Lovely and warm. It is nice in my room looking out the window at the blue sky and little sparrows fluttering around.

Things I would love to have here: Husband, son and a car! Or to not need to be here at all! I'm busy, Tova is busy, so we aren't homesick.. but home is where we would rather be. Everything is so much easier at home. Tova better start walking, talking and or eating soon to make being across the world worth while. Although I must say it is a beautiful part of the world with beautiful people.

Oh and yesterday I found ryvitas in the supermarket and they are better than at home!

Tova ate well today. So, not sure why she didn't want dinner last night. Don't care... I never thought I would say that.. I love how relaxed eating has become.. well, at least I love being relaxed about Tova not eating..

Now it is almost bath time for Tova, then books and bed. we are sitting in our room listening to stilux first..

I was warned that weekends sucked here.. Yes.. they absolutely do!

---OMG- I just heard a Coyote howling.. (yes, it could have been a dog.. but there are no neighbours around here, so I am going with Coyote)... cool!

ice hockey
canada sport

Day Twelve

I went to Picton (the closest town) today for about an hour while Tova was in class. I went to the local op shop to see if there were any Wiggles Dvds as we are going a bit insane in the hyperbaric chamber with the kids requesting Wiggles every time and there being only one Wiggles dvd in the centre.

I did find a Wiggles VHS, but when I opened the cover, it was something else. So... I guess we suffer tomorrow as we have two chamber sessions each day over the weekend.. quack quack quack, cock a doodle doo... la la la...

Tova asked to go outside to play on the play equipment after hyperbarics today. So we did that. I didn't feel like bike riding as I have a mountain of work to do.

Tova didn't eat much dinner tonight (FRESH SALMON!! YUM!).. So hopefully it is just one of those things and she isn't getting sick. It is unusual for Tova not to eat.  She seems well and most definitely happy.

Nissim and Tova skyped this evening. They are both so happy to see each other.

I'm not sure what we are going to do over the weekend. I really have to work, but also have to ensure that Tova has an active and good day. I need Yuval or Taylah here. I was imagining Taylah here today. It would be fantastic if she was here. If we come back again (which I hope we do) I most certainly am going to save up to bring Taylah next time.. if she want's to come of course.

Tova has been going to sleep late the past two nights. I'm not sure what is up with that. I think her little portacot is a bit uncomfortable for her as she is probably a bit big for it.. and it isn't very soft. So when I let her fall asleep in my bed she gets all excited and it probably feels strange to her too. I can't sleep with her as she moves way too much during the night and takes the entire bed, so I put her back in her cot when I go to bed.

Picton Canada

Day Eleven

What is going on? How is time going this fast? Friday tomorrow already. Crazy.

Tova and I went for a bike ride to the lake down the dirt track road today. There were so many bugs (little flys) that we only stayed there for about 2 mins. It is stunning down there, the water is crystal clear.
Today was warm. 20something..

I think Tova is getting stronger already. It is hard to say. But I have noticed her walking better in her 'round the wrong way' walking frame.

At the moment it is about 9.30pm. Tova is still awake. This is very unusual for her. I hope it is just one of those things. She is a bit sad but doesn't want to be held. So, she is in her little bed trying to sleep. She is so cute..

We skyped Yuval in the morning. Nissim was at my mums. Tova asks to Skype Nissim sometimes, lovely. I love that they are friends.

Tova looking at Lake Ontario
Lake Ontario and Tova

Day Ten

Yep, today was again very similar. The difference being that it was warm outside (20 something) and someone spotted a bear up the road today.

After class, lunch and hyperbaric today Tova and I went for a bike ride - see pic below.

Oh, at lunch today Tova started feeding herself. She did it perfectly! So, I am going to encourage that. I tried not to make a big fus, as eating is normal not something to celebrate.. It was hard.. I was so proud!

The teachers commented about Tova in general having 'so much potential'. So there is that.

Walk unaided Tova! She wants to.

I'm happy that the sun has started to shine.

Some of the other mums and I were going to go for a jog this evening, but we are all afraid of the bear. So we stayed in.

A visiting family delivered this coffee to us all today.. umm.. omg....

coffee death bag goon

Day Nine

Last night Tova was having troubles falling asleep. She ended up sharing my bed with me. Which means I didn't get much sleep. She is horrible to sleep with. It is such a lovely idea, but she moves so much and takes up so much of the bed.

This morning Tova went to class and I worked. I ended up going for a jog to the Lake and back. I put my hand in the water. It is strange to think that it is the same lake that feeds into Niagra falls so many k's away.

One of the adults finished her program here and has gone home. I think there are about 12 of us here now. Half parents. Something like that.

In the Hyperbaric chamber Tova was a bit sad and asked to be finished the second the hood went on. She was fine once the Wiggles was put on. There is only one Wiggles movie here, so I will have to do something about that or we will all go insane in there listening/watching the same one for the next 4 weeks.

Tonight I cooked food for the next 2 days. I have been doing that, cooking in the evening - enough to last for two days. The kitchen here is old and not much bench space, so it is easier to cook once everyone is finished in there.

We skyped the boys this evening, which is their morning. Tova was asking to Skype Nissim earlier today, so she was happy when they came online. We have seen the boys almost every day, even Zev and Bosun (cats) have skyped.


Day Eight

Today was back to class. Tova is learning to Walk, Talk, Eat and other educational things such as Left and Right. She loves it.

Tova is an expert walker in her walking frame. The second we got here she was put in the same frame that she uses at home, but round the other way. She was confused about this at first, but it didn't take long for her to understand.

It is harder to walk with the walker around the other way, but better for their posture and the philosophy here is if the kids get good at something, make it harder.. So that is exactly what happened. The next step is using quad stick or what ever they are called. I just call them sticks. That would be so cool!

Tova had a good day in there I think. I don't know really as I run as fast as I can the other way when she enters the room at 8.30am. I have so much work to do.

Today Tova didn't go into the Hyper chamber with the kids as there are a few coughs in there. We went in the next session with the adults. They had to watch the Wiggles. It was fun. They are all so lovely to Tova. It was great to see that Tova was the boss of the TV. Very cute.

It has been cold and raining all day. So no exercise for me. I feel disgusting. But I will try and embrace this time doing nothing.. somehow. I do exercise when I get out of bed and walk to the kitchen.. and chewing exercises my jaw.. *sigh*.

The main thing is Tova is happy.

Ability Camp Bikes
Ability Camp Bikes

Day Seven

Sunday. Not quite a lazy Sunday, but close enough.

Two hyperbaric sessions, the second one with the Wiggles playing..... Tova was mesmerised. It was the first time she paid attention to the tv in there (not that it is actually in the chamber, it is on the outside of one of the windows). It was good, easy.

After the first session this morning Tova and I found a bike with a child thingy on the back. I can't remember what they are called, but it has wheels and the child gets to sit inside a comfy carriage. So we went for a ride. It was great fun. This area is rural lots of vineyards, trees and fields. There are loads of Eagles flying around, they are so big and beautiful. It is a warmish day, the sun is shining and everything is sweet. Except for this crazy ginger beer I am drinking, it isn't sweet at all, it is so gingery. Yum.. But I have to drink it slowly as it almost burns me. Canadians must be tough.

One of the dads left yesterday and the other today. It is mostly women and kids here now.

I am missing my boys and how helpful they are. Nissim would be the ring leader if he was here. He is such a little dude. And I miss how much Yuval cooks. I hate cooking so much. The other day I cooked two days worth of meals just so I wouldn't have to cook over the weekend.

Week one done. If all the weeks go this fast it is going to fly by.

hyperbaric o2