I am absolutely, completely and utterly home sick today! What a sad sack I am.. Hiding in my room 'working' listening VERY LOUDLY (on headphones) to skrillex.. Thinking about having a car (freedom) and husband and son.

There are quite a few small things here that just make it that much harder to cope. For example, we the families staying here have to take the rubbish out every evening, even though there is a cleaner (a big strong dude) here every day. We also have to PAY to do our laundry and even take it in turns to wash the tea towels etc.. Just little things, but crazy things. Ok, so we have to wash our own bedding while we are here, but I have heard that we also have to wash them before we leave.. Not sure how that can happen if I am leaving early in the morning..

We are very far from any shops and I need everything. Food, toys, shampoo etc.. I hate relying on other people, I don't like letting people down and I don't like to make people feel like they are obligated to help me out. But, but. I need help to get to the shops. I suppose I could take a taxi. Stupid cars.. stupid money.

I wonder how Tova is feeling. I know that when she sees Yuval on the ipad most mornings she almost jumps out of her skin with excitement. I hope she is happy. My little princess.

I also know that homesickness passes quite quickly.. So I am happy about that.

Tova better start walking, talking or anything from being here so far from home, far from anything normal.

Apparently CPEC has Conductive therapy programs too. So I will investigate that when I get back. They have never been any good at getting back to me or being helpful. I have been trying to get Tova into CPEC since she was about 1.5 years old. They never reply to mail, phone calls and don't get back to me nor have time for me when I go in there in person. So that is annoying me thinking about that today too. I wonder how far along Tova would be with her walking if she had attended CPEC years ago. It really bugs me to think all they had to do was answer me or give me 5 mins of their time at some stage.

And I am so sick of cooking crap food. And eating crap food. It is hard to get it together here with wabbly broken and old pots and pans in an old shared kitchen.

I did get a hug from another mum today, she could see I was stressed.

Shite happens.

BUT I am pretty sure that the point of being here.. Tova.... is working and worth it. I think she is getting stronger. So, I can handle anything for her. 

End rant.