Last night was horrible. 

Tova woke many times, spent the night breathing badly and crying from time to time as if she was in some terrible pain. 

It wasn't her ears. I don't know what it was, maybe her tummy from all the drugs I have been giving her - Panadol, Ventolin, Pred, Antibiotics. She hadn't really eaten very much during the day either. My poor little one. 

At something horrible like 4am (which thinking about it is really quite reasonable, it means I had about 3 solid hours sleep before she woke me, which means she probably did too), Tova woke me up by tapping me. Her breathing was horrendous, she was so hot I could barley touch her and she was gasping for air between croup coughs. Croup coughs sound like a seal barking and are quite scary. I had set up all the drugs before I went to bed so that they were all close and I knew where everything was. I hate searching around in the dark half asleep in a panic trying to find life saving tools.

So. I grabbed everything I needed, including my phone to call 000. But there was no time to call 000, yet. I had to give her some potential relief first. So I started with Ventolin, then pred, then panadol then a drink. The Ventolin actually worked, I have never noticed it work before. She calmed down heaps, which doesn't mean much considering how bad she got. But it was calmer. I would have liked to give her an oxygen mask just for half an hour. That is something I don't have. I wanted to wait for at least half an hour to see what the pred did before I called the ambos. She didn't get worse as I watched her second by second. 

Eventually the pred must have kicked in because she calmed down just a touch more. The panadol helped too I am sure. Her fever was horrible. It was all horrible. 

We fell asleep. I kept waking thinking I heard worse breathing. She was the same. 

We woke at something like 9.30am. 

She cried when she woke up. I was sure it was going to be a hospital day. But I touched her face and it wasn't on fire. Wowzers. 

She ate breakfast too, which was a good sign.

We pottered around for an hour or so and then went out for some fresh air. We drove to the beach touched the water sat on the steps leading down to the beach, drank iced coffee and ate avo + banana. She coped. I think the air was good for us. But it was getting very hot and I wanted to keep her cool, so we went to the shopping centre and bought some neurophen, walked around a bit and went home. She has kept the fever off today. Her cough is fair and she seems happier. Not as floppy as yesterday. 

I never know If I am doing the right thing. I hope I did the right thing last night. I really didn't want to go to the hospital. It is really hard to know what to do. I do know that if she had got worse or she hadn't calmed down at all I would have taken her for sure. 

If she is crappy again tonight I will take her. It is getting a bit silly now. 

I don't know what they can do for her though. They do what I do, but in a noisy, bright and yucky place. At least here is quiet, dark and 'home'. It is really hard. 

She didn't have much dinner, but it is hot and she in recovery (hopefully). I'm not worried about the eating. I love that I can say that! 

3 sleeps till the boys get here. I told them to wear bathers on the plane as we are going straight to the beach.. 

I hope Tova is well enough for her therapy tomorrow. PLEAASEE!