The Tovington Post

Still feeling crappy. Everything is making me mad. Someone turned the fridge to warm, so everything in there is pretty much ruined. I don't actually have any food really, so I don't' care about that, but I do have all Tova's growth hormone in there.. I do care about that. Not sure why someone would change the setting on the fridge. So inconsiderate.

On a happy note. One of the mums (the one that hugged me  yesterday) took me into town first thing this morning we were there at about 9 am and got back about 11.30am. So that was good. I walked up and down the main street. It is very much like Mullumbimby or Dalesford.. Not much there, but enough. The health food store had coconut  yogurt, so I got that for Tova. She is going to be so happy!

I got food, shampoo and everything in between. I feel better now. We had nothing, and no car to get anything. I gave the mum some money for petrol, which made me feel better about wasting her morning. I now have a massive bunch of grapes next to me for snacking.. yum..

I went to the op shop and got 5 VHS movies for the chamber. Mostly they are nursery rhymes. One of the other girls here loves nursery rhymes, so hopefully it will make her happy.   I also got textas and a little whiteboard for Tova to draw on in there. And some stickers.

Because I was in town, I missed the Tova/ima time in the class today.. thank goodness. I hate it. I really needed the time out, a mental health day. I am feeling better than I was yesterday and now I have comfort food to help me out too!

Tova Kay Walker

I am absolutely, completely and utterly home sick today! What a sad sack I am.. Hiding in my room 'working' listening VERY LOUDLY (on headphones) to skrillex.. Thinking about having a car (freedom) and husband and son.

There are quite a few small things here that just make it that much harder to cope. For example, we the families staying here have to take the rubbish out every evening, even though there is a cleaner (a big strong dude) here every day. We also have to PAY to do our laundry and even take it in turns to wash the tea towels etc.. Just little things, but crazy things. Ok, so we have to wash our own bedding while we are here, but I have heard that we also have to wash them before we leave.. Not sure how that can happen if I am leaving early in the morning..

We are very far from any shops and I need everything. Food, toys, shampoo etc.. I hate relying on other people, I don't like letting people down and I don't like to make people feel like they are obligated to help me out. But, but. I need help to get to the shops. I suppose I could take a taxi. Stupid cars.. stupid money.

I wonder how Tova is feeling. I know that when she sees Yuval on the ipad most mornings she almost jumps out of her skin with excitement. I hope she is happy. My little princess.

I also know that homesickness passes quite quickly.. So I am happy about that.

Tova better start walking, talking or anything from being here so far from home, far from anything normal.

Apparently CPEC has Conductive therapy programs too. So I will investigate that when I get back. They have never been any good at getting back to me or being helpful. I have been trying to get Tova into CPEC since she was about 1.5 years old. They never reply to mail, phone calls and don't get back to me nor have time for me when I go in there in person. So that is annoying me thinking about that today too. I wonder how far along Tova would be with her walking if she had attended CPEC years ago. It really bugs me to think all they had to do was answer me or give me 5 mins of their time at some stage.

And I am so sick of cooking crap food. And eating crap food. It is hard to get it together here with wabbly broken and old pots and pans in an old shared kitchen.

I did get a hug from another mum today, she could see I was stressed.

Shite happens.

BUT I am pretty sure that the point of being here.. Tova.... is working and worth it. I think she is getting stronger. So, I can handle anything for her. 

End rant. 

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I go into Tova's class room for an amount of time that feels like an eternity, it may be an hour. I get to do some of the therapy with Tova so I know what is going on. Tova just plays up for me. She is cheeky. She tries to do things like pretend fall and climb over ropes when she is supposed to walk between them etc.. she has a good laugh and gets in trouble with the therapists.

I went for a jog this morning down to the lake and back. That is it for my exercise. My clothes are shrinking.. oh well. It is really hard to eat well and exercise here, in the middle of no where with no car and no husband/son. I'm so over food and I am so over being over food! There is nothing else to do here. I have to go to town soon and get some carrots or something healthy to snack on..

I have managed to get Tova to sleep by 8pm tonight. I started at 6.30. So, that is good!

She is on her third night of the big girl bed... we will have to get her a big girl bed when we get back. She is ready. She doesn't even get out of the bed when I leave the room for an hour and come back to check.

The chamber was ok today, we all talked about those poor girls that were found this morning after 10 years of being kidnapped.. and we had fantasia on in the background. Tova and I did drawings.

Tova and her little friends played on the play equipment for a bit after the hyperbaric chamber. We couldn't stay out for too long as the sun was beaming and no one wanted to get burned.

The weather is spectacular.. The people are lovely..

Tova on Swing Canada

Yay for Monday and therapy..

I'm not sure why they run late, but they were 15 mins late to start today. That is a bit frustrating as I have so much work to do.

Today is another spectacularly beautiful day with the sun shining and blue sky making everyone feel happy.

It seems that Tova had a good day. One of the therapists said to me today that Tova should be walking with the sticks, she just has to practice and get used to using them, but once she gets the hang of how they work, there is no reason why she wouldn't use them. Yay for that! Crazy. It would be amazing if she would walk with the stick things. The walking frame is great too, but sticks!!

The hyperbaric chamber is really, really boring. Tova doesn't like it at all. She wouldn't mind if she could suck her thumb for the entire time, but she can't because of the hood. We 'watched' peter pan today, a much better sound track to have in the background. I am going to try and get to town to buy some textas and paper for her. Apparently there is a $1 shop, I will go there and get some supplies.

Tova has grabbed the spoon from my hand a few times, to feed herself. She is VERY good at it! I can see a light.. sort of.. almost.. at the end of the tunnel. I can imagine a walking & self feeding Tova.

A tiny squirrel played in the lawn and tree outside my window this morning that was nice. I haven't really seen much if any wild life here, which is strange because we are in the 'bush'.

Well, I am so happy to be in the sunshine and that my long cold Australian winter will now be a touch shorter as I am missing a bit of it.

I have booked a train to Niagara Falls and hotel over looking the waterfall for one of our last days. Fun.. hopefully.

Oh and Tova slept in her big girl bed all night and was still asleep when I got up at 7am. Probably because she went to sleep after 9pm.

Yellow american school bus

Sunday... The end of week two... The dates on my blog aren't correct exactly because I haven't changed the time zone on my computer, so it thinks it is Monday, because it actually is in Australia.

Tova slept in a bit, I think because she didn't sleep so well in that portacot. Tonight I am going to try her in the single bed and see what happens. I have a bed rail on the side. I just hope she doesn't climb over it and fall even further. I think she will be more comfortable in the bed. It is bigger and softer. It will also be vaguely cute if she climbs into my bed in the morning without me having to get up to get her.

Apparently Nissim is missing Tova and I. I get lovely emails from my amazing husband. The one I read this morning told me that Nissim is having a hard time at the moment, emotional... my poor little boy. I miss him. I often imagine him here and how helpful and fun he would be, but also how bored he would get.

After the first Hyperbaric session this morning Tova and I went for a bike ride. We did a big blocky (Tasmanian word for driving around the block). It took us about an hour. We got lost a couple of times and had to stop at farms to ask for directions. I also kept getting confused about which side of the road to ride on. ALSO, I got some colour, not burn.. It is an absolutely beautifully stunning day. I am even in shorts! I love summer weather! It is sad to imagine that I will be going home to winter weather.

I'm not sure about what to do with the rest of today. Some of the other mummas set up a kiddie pool for the kids to play in. So, perhaps Tova will join them in there at some stage.

The hyperbaric chamber is driving us all a little insane. Tova most certainly doesn't like watching Hockey (she was interested yesterday, but not today). The music is just terrible on the dvd too, and so loud. And the wiggles, omg, I just can't handle watching that for even one more second. So for the second session we watched Grease. The kids didn't like it. But I found that the time went a little faster for me. Poor kids, it really is boring in there. I have read Tova every book we have with us about 20 times.. I also just can't read another 'In The Night Garden' book, like ever!

The next time we go into town I will go back to the op shop and see what else there is to watch. Or even try and find a store that sells dvds. I wish our Australian DVD's would play here on their DVD player.

So, Tova is dancing to some different wiggles music on my bed. I am taking some time out, then dinner, bath, books, bed. Thank goodness it is Monday tomorrow so Tova has something to do for most of the day. I am so boring as I have so much work to do. 

..

It is about 9pm now. Tova finally asleep in her big girl bed. I hope she stays in there tonight. I put her in there at bed time and checked on her every now and then. She stayed in the bed the entire time (as far as I am aware). So that is a good start.

Tired Tova in a big girl bed